Haven’t posted for quite a while

This novel “Dorain Grey”, which was introduced to me in english, is brilliant! It has so many meanings hidden deep in the book, such as the relationship between beauty and good, beauty and evil, art and morality, homosexuality, whether art imitates life or life imitates art and so on. I just finished an essay on whether Oscar Wilde is proposing  “art imitates life” or “life imitates art”. Ah it took me 10 straight hours without sleeping, so that day I didn’t sleep for 46 hours…and I manged to survive, something I should be proud of. I had to constantly stop myself from expressing my own point of view in the essay lol.
<—My brand new Ultimate Ears Metro.fi 200 earbuds! It costs like HKD$660, and I got it for CA$67, so that’s a real bargain(although come to think of it it’s still like HKD$530 lol). I know I’m crazy when it comes to this kind of stuff…but the sound is SO good…and I use it everyday……..I just have to be REALLY careful with it

Let me post the art that I did for the past year
from new to old:

 ” The Good, the Bad & the Tech“ submission to an art competition at UBC (hopefully I can win a macbook or a ipod touch haha) 18×24″Acrylics on canvas.
I had to write an artist statement for this, which I wish wasn’t necessary. Why would I wanna explain my own art? That no fun and totally rips off the freedom of interpreting art. Besides I have the dysfunction of explaining my thoughts in words.
My first painting on canvas and first painting of realistic looking people. It was scary painting on a canvas, cuz you know it’s so expensive like what if I screwed up. I stayed up till 5am to finish this last night(or this morning) with the help of a cup of starbucks coffee. And before I started I went to buy cool light light bulbs, broke(smashed) the first one of the two while I was screwing it back on the lamp = =.
A top hat that I made from scratch for prom. It sure took me a looooong time.

“See me implode” 22×30″Acrylics on paper.April 2008 I think.
First acrylics painting. I know like what the heck when i’m 19?lol. By the way that’s my brain.
“After Forever” 22×30″ watercolours on paper. Feb 2008.
Now I love this one. The theme given to me was “trees”. It’s my first watercolour painting(yes I started watercolors before acylics). I was totally shocked with the result. I mean I could paint! Before I did this painting all my products using brushes were crap and crap and crap. I guess it’s all because of my overwhelmed emotions during that period.
erm “black and white comic scene” I guess? I don’t have a name for this. 15×20″ Ink on paper. September 2007
dumb self portrait for a stupid class.
A ceramic mask I made in art in gr11. Too bad it’s so heavy I can’t wear it :/
Made from paper mache and wire out of hangers. Statue of a gymnastics pose. March 2007.

k I gotta go back to my physics. I can’t screw up this mid term. I wish all I have to deal with were physics and math. Physics’s the only subject of the ones I’m taking that i’m passionate about. I didnt have the time for philosophy or art. Ha but there’s no way i’m gonna take art. That’s another story I must write about some other day. God bless me that I can go into engineering next year so I don’t have to touch any bio anymore.

Once Upon A December 2007

In all your fantasies, you always knew, that man and mystery are both in you.

Box art

無論幾難都好,我都要堅持用些少中文打,唔係既話我個六年禁辛苦學番黎既中文又比番曬d先生,雖然只係打口語,但係都好過冇

Box Art , “Hall of Obessesion“, 22cm x 33cm, mixed media: acrylic paint on cardboard box, pop cans roses, fabric paint on fabric for portrait and decorations below ceiling
March 12th 2007      93/100
I had been thinking about the theme for more than 2 weeks. Not a single idea seems to satisfy me until I saw the head………my inspiration went boom! Only something considered “crazy” comforts me after all, lol.
I was so scared when everyone knew what they’re doing excpet for me.
仲有我得兩個星期做份禁大既project,個幾日真係好想死,係四日裡面有三個project同五個test
我唔明點解禁多人都get唔到個theme係咩,有咩可能會係heartbreak或者係being cheated on?
如果係既話,個人頭同後面d相都唔make sense啦,因為d相有d係個女仔既獨照,有d係佢同唔同既男人影既相,
如果係heartbreak或者係being cheated on,相中既男人就唔會係唔同既人啦

marker drawings on the sides of the box


Banana collage, 45cm x 70cm, mixed media: acrylic paint, water colour, pastels
Feburary 2nd 2007       89/100
I hate doing the banana collage, it’s just something I can not do well in just a few classes of time. But then it’s my first piece of work that got framed! lol it feels so good.  By the way, I pulled this piece off out of luck, like I didn’t have a clue what I was gonna do when I was drawing the bananas. Thank god my inspiration hit me just in time.
我最鍾意既Art堂完全比Noble ruin 曬, 真係令我好掛住以前F.3既Ms Lee
仲有,我深深感受到好既作品唔一定會攞到高分既道理
學校成日比人vandalize,好好笑,係走廊放蟑螂,扔一卷卷tissue落個馬桶度,搞到水浸,
仲係washroom裡面放火畫牆,結果比人封左,
校長個句”please do not vandalize the school, we have no money to repair it”先至最掂
不過我個locker比人淋油真係好過份
近排我先發現原來social堂坐我前面個個女仔係德國人!!
I was totally like
OH
my god
但係我好失望
出年好可能會辛苦死我,不過我有得一齊take 2D art 同history!
我以前以為我依世都冇機會!
HMV真係好廢
唯一一個收穫就係佢竟然有Lacrimosa既一隻single(個到得兩隻碟禁大把),隻single仲要係Lacrimosa唯一一隻彩色既碟,竟然比我親眼見到!!   (其實都冇咩大不了)
係到越奈我就越興幸我讀過女校,我六年班個時有返到香港

我知有d野好似冇咩可能做到, 但係我零願用盡我既精力都唔係到坐以待斃
我唔希望死個時有多一樣遺憾
期待讀UBC既日子,我唔想再對住palmer依班人

in like 1 hr

i drew this in grad planning while she’s showing the movie ‘Pleasantville’

Art and my crampy life

My only C’s in Art Foundation! I can’t believe this! This is like…a HUMILIATION to me! Like it’s nearly only a pass!
WTF, I only wanna do art that appeals to me. I like bunnines cracking instead of being all nice and smooth and “cute”, I like it when it’s like bursting out when it glows in the dark. I just hate bunnies and paper mache.
I don’t do sketches in her way, so I get a 7/10?! Compared to others in my school, I should have gotten a 12/10!
I’m beginning to hate this course. Not only that I can’t even learn one single drawing or painting technique, it’s dragging my grades and making me furious to a point that I do not act like myself.
And when I drew shit sketches and that poster for SS using watercolors, I got compliments and even full marks for the poster. Don’t you know that compliments hurt more than a slap hard on the face?? Stop it!
Everyone kept on demoralizing me on making the costumes.Do you want me to do it or not?! If you kept on saying that, I QUIT! I will do it. I proved it’s possible in summer.

我幾乎每日都hou住art gallery 扔垃圾既地方有冇canvas, 搞到我好似垃圾婆錦……sigh* too bad I don’t have money to buy them. And how come I didn’t know where to buy body paint in HK until somebody here in Vancouver told me recently?!
I’m thinking that whether I should give up taking visual arts in university…

This is how i would look like in the movie “Mirror Mask”, let’s see what she’s gonna give for this

Dummy

Pencil on A4 size paper,

In the distant, I see your delicate profile
Your widened eyes scuplted in your vulnerable face, as still as a corpse
Yet, your loveliness is indelible
Take my hand, forgotten in the Promised Land
We will grow roses
of red and blue,
of black and white
I divide my joy, and you share your woes
Be my muse, be my sin
see me down at your feet, imploring you
for you will not hate, you will not leave

I spent at least 80 hours on this! Just too much……I’ve been working on it since I got off the plane
It was suppose to be a draft, but then, it just happened on this piece of paper

I found a dummy in school!

I stroked the dummy in the art room today! It’s that room which nearly nobody uses it. I was totally dumbfounded by the discovery of her(though it was only a normal dummy). When you’re in your favourite lesson with a teacher that pisses you off, it makes you gleeful over the sight of something you’re obsessed with. See, it makes me so happy that I have to type it here, how silly. The bony arms, the small waist, the perfectly shaped breasts, the smoothe thighs…
Unluckily, I didn’t think before I act. Someone saw me……

laughters

oh well

“All dressed up today,eh?”
Yea, like I have photos taken every day

screwed

Ha, my life is all screwed up.

School Starts Today

What’s gonna happen?

FULL???

Fuck. Drawing and Painting from 11 to 12 are all FULL?!

Fuck…fuck…FUCK!

Lacrimosa concert in HK

OMG, THIS IS TRUE, LACRIMOSA’S REALLY GOING TO HK

I could have be able to see Tilo Wolff! I would have gone there no matter what!!!!!!!!!!!To hear his voice and requiem, to see his figure on the stage, to see him wave his arms, to look at that beautiful face, to get his autograph, to give him my gift, to feel his existance……to have a glimpse of my muse. Why?Why?Why????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!Why this when I left?
I wanna come back to HK………….

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I just want to hear you…to feel you…tell me you’re alive…

http://www.music-wonderland.net/

London – Damien Hirst’s ‘The Virgin Mother’

35ft-tall, 13-and-a-half-ton Virgin Mother at the Royal Academy of Arts in London.

I don’t know what to say. I’m in tears.
If only I could see her with my very own eyes…

September US Vogue

Look at this! All those 18th century clothes and decorations!

I’m definately considering buying my first Vogue

and i’m definately going to see this movie —-Marie Antoinette

Violin by Anne Rice

Anne Rice was the author of ‘The Interview with a Vampire’.This book is lovely, except the fact that the story is rather clumsily told. I couldn’t put it down untill the last word of this gothic romance. God, those madness, seduction, emotions and pain.

“Shame, blame, maim, pain, vain!”

This afternoon…

I’m going to be notified my HKCEE results this afternoon

although I’m not really affected by it much, still…

Have to start a new life

The weather’s lovely here, no sweating, but sunscreen’s a must
I could even wear long sleeves T-shirts in the morning and evening
I bought so much donuts that I’m now sick of it
I also bought fries from New York Fries and A&G which I missed pretty much
The chocolate’s much cheaper here
However, the Shanghai food I ate yesterday in a food court was way worse than HK’s

I feel that……I’m gonna collapse any sec now

I don’t even know what I did these days

Your face haunts me

even under the sunlight

I wish you were somehow here again

This hatered for myself

I saw this photo of the art studio in the Univesity of British Columbia.

There was nothing special about the photo
but all of a sudden
tears ran down my cheeks
my heart sank into the vast abyss of agony, time and space
Staring into the clear blue sky, with my feet spiraling downwards and downwards,  into the dismal cell underground
Corporeal needs bound me
Drawing the beauty I see will earn me not a cent
I do not have faith in myself
Fearing the passion will fade if I cannot live by it
So I decide to walk away
from art
from air
from warmth
from beauty
from passion
from love
from soul
from life
and succumb to humanity
This thought is making me shiver, scatter
Drowning in dread

This intense hatred for myself

is so loud,

so loud

How could this happen???

 So, you think that I’m some satanist or  antichrist???

Some Christians came up to me, not on the streets but in Festival Walk. I made up an excuse and escaped as fast as I could. I wonder what their reactions would be if I told them I’m a Catholic?

Now, I don’t understand. I didn’t wear any satanic or wicca or any other symbol. Just all black. I mean…is the way I dress that unacceptable???

Tomorrow I’ll need to pack my computer. No MONSTER, BLOOD+, Lost, The L Word and so on. The worst of all, no music from the computer.

Survey job

June 27th, 06 

I went to apply as a surveyor where 
Lydia was working in HK Island.
I wore a red,plaided,short-sleeved t-shirt and a white belt. Black tight trousers and a pair of cherry red doctor martens as usual.All of the other surveyors agreed that my style is punk. How many times do I have to say, THIS IS NOT PUNK! Have they ever seen what is punk?
I’ve already given up my accessories except a black waistband with a buckle.No eyeliner. No silver accessories. How could this be punk??? The society has so little knowledge about subcultures.They think it is punk when the style is only a little different from what they usually see on the streets.
The leader kept saying disgusting things like calling me ‘baby’.Why do I kept meeting this kind of people recently?
Two of the surveyors also draw. However, they said they draw plant pencil sketches and design, which are just what you have to do in art lessons.I was so dissapointed when I heard that. I thought I finally met a passionate artist.

When they asked me what do I draw, I couldn’t find a phrase in my head that can explain my artwork.

Now I realize this is a very big problem. I’ve never thought of that before.

A F.7 guy, Lydia and me went to a school in Lai King. I felt like an idiot, standing under the sun and asking oral exam canadiates if they are willing to do a survey for me.
I put my hands on the mouth of the pockets of my trousers as usual when I was waiting. That F.7 guy said that I looked like someone in a fashoin show. This is absurd.

This job is so useless. There’s no contribution at all. So I sent a message to the leader and quit the job.

What words can I use to describe my art???I wish someone can help me out here.

Clearwater Bay

June 26th, 06 

We went to Clearwater Bay.

Ww came over to tko to take the van with me. It took us not more than half an hr to get there! We waited one whole hour at the beach for them to arrive by bus.
The beach was crowded. How  come they have time to go to beaches on a Monday?
Everyone there wanted to get there skin tanned. However, me and ww kept putting sunscreen lotion to every part of our body. We certainly want to keep our skin as white as possible! I truely love pale white skin.
I borrowed ww’s upper piece of swimming suit.
Five of us swam to to floating dock(actually 3 of them didn’t know how to swim and floated to there by supporting their weight with a floating bed). I stayed close to the shore as I couldn’t swim good and being scared of floating out there.
THANKS to Lydia, I stepped on a rock while having a water fight with her and now the wound is infected.
By the time all of us have bathed ourselves, it was already dark. It was pretty scary as there were not many streetlights and all of us were girls. We gave up having barbecue there and went over to Amy’s friend’s at Po Lam.
It was the first time ever that my classmates are willing to spend time in tko! So I was pretty excited.
I was still wearing the swimming suit top and shorts when we’re heading to tko mtr station,coz it was hot. I had to put on my red vest when we’re in mtr, coz it would be considered as excessive exposure in HK. I just can’t see why this is excessive.  I really don’t mind wearing a backless vest. It’s beautiful.